The Guardian featured a column today on Lesbophobia! Lesbophobia is misogyny and homophobia leveled at lesbians.
Lesbophobia is something we strongly oppose at Pretendbians! Indeed, it’s the reason we started this blog (Cotton Ceiling).
Jane Czyzselska, who is also editor of a UK magazine for “lesbians” called DIVA, writes passionately in her Guardian column about the everyday erasure Lesbians endure in heteronormative world.
“I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard readers tell me about the treatment they receive from people who can’t accept they are lesbian.”
Lesbians are female homosexuals. We are women who desire intimate relations with women.
No big deal!
So I wandered over the the Everyday Lesbophobia Facebook page to leave a comment that it was heartening to see her effort and that I looked forward to discussions of lesbophobia in the Queer community.
You know… Cotton Ceiling?
Anyway, Jane wrote me quite promptly to let me know that discussions of Lesbophobia in the Queer community were forbidden!
Everyday Lesbophobia is a-ok if Queers do it, amirite?
Oh! Wait a second! Hold the Phone!
Silly me! Jane knows all about the Cotton Ceiling!
She just doesn’t give a fuck about Lesbophobia in the Queer community.
MY FAVORITE ERASURE SONG
ACTUALLY, THIS IS MY FAVORITE ERASURE SONG
ACTUALLY IT’S THIS ONE
OK FOR REALS NOW. THIS IS MY FAVORITE ERASURE SONG
Jane’s not persecuting you for being a lesbian, you’re just trolling her.
Hi, Zachary, you’re a guy. This isn’t actually a post about *me*. It’s also, most certainly, not a post about men’s feelings.
Here is a Facebook page someone established for wims who want to talk about lesbophobia in all communities: https://www.facebook.com/WipeoutLezbophobia
What’s so tricky about it being nobody’s damn business but mine as to whom I’m attracted to or why? Y’know, I’ve historically been attracted to men who weren’t interested, and I didn’t see anybody going around criticising them for it. The proper response here is “Sorry, but he or she just isn’t into you.” Nobody gets a free pass. Any other viewpoint is rapish. Do transwomen *want* a reputation for being rapish?
Yes, it hasn’t seemed to hurt the regard “people” have for Men, so why would they care?
What does it say about a person if his or her self-respect is all tangled up with whether people are sexually attracted to the person? What does it say about someone who thinks he or she has the right to be found attractive? Does the word “narcissist” perhaps come to mind?
I apologize for my long post…
I just wanted to send a friendly message of support for your website and share my self-indulgent, little tale as a male who struggled with sexual identification issues as a teenager.
When I was younger, I never liked playing with or spending time with other boys. I didn’t like their activities, the conversations they had… Even when they talked about something I was interested in like movies, music or women, they always talked about those things in a way I couldn’t relate to and just frankly didn’t care for. As I grew older, and after many years of suffering at the violent hands of bigger boys for my differences, I formed sort of a mini-hatred of my sex and, consequently, of myself. After experiencing a great amount of loss within my immediate family, something inside me snapped and I no longer felt comfortable in my body. I began questioning who I was on the outside versus who I was on the inside and started dressing up in girl’s clothing as often as I could every day for the next several years. It took me almost three years, a lot of money, and several awkward confrontations with my father that I had to talk my way out of to realize that I wasn’t a woman trapped in a man’s body… Simply a man who wished he had been born a woman who was absolutely repulsed by the male form and psyche.
To me, a man believing himself to be a woman trapped in a man’s body is a delusion. And for me, it was a very unhealthy delusion that I was very glad to be rid of.
Because of my male repulsion (and after two long-term relationships with “die-hard” feminists), I began to notice the rampant sexism that still exists in this country. Particularly in the media. There is nothing in this country that men don’t feel entitled to. And pretty much all men don’t understand the concept of not treating a woman differently because of her sex (or sexual orientation). Random facts: women only earn 75 cents for every dollar earned by a man and 84% of single parents are women. And as someone who is obsessed with movies and television (and who hopes to work in the biz someday!), I find myself repulsed by the portrayal of women in the media and the great lack of strong, INDEPENDENT, women who don’t just need a man to be happy.
After a fairly traumatic hospital visit, I “out-ed” myself to my girlfriend of five years, telling someone for the first time the sexual identification struggles I had as a teenager. And for some reason, it really fucked me up and dug up a lot of the confusion I faced when I was younger. I ran across your blog as a means of educating myself on the issues that women (particularly lesbians) face in an effort to stray away from male hypocrisy. And, personally, I’ve found everything you’ve had to say incredibly helpful, educational, and amusing. I very much look forward to introducing my girlfriend to your blog and reading your future posts.