DIVA! Keeping Media Safe for Men!

Everyday Lesbophobia at Everyday Lesbophobia

The Guardian featured a column today on Lesbophobia!  Lesbophobia is misogyny and homophobia leveled at lesbians.

Lesbophobia is something we strongly oppose at Pretendbians! Indeed, it’s the reason we started this blog (Cotton Ceiling).

Jane Czyzselska, who is also editor of a UK magazine for “lesbians” called DIVA, writes passionately in her Guardian column about the everyday erasure Lesbians endure in heteronormative world.

Dating in the PoMo World

One of the benefits of being an openly horrible feminist blogger is the opportunity to correspond with Women and Lesbians from all over the world (well, mostly the US, Canada, Australia and Europe, although I have regular readers in Saudi Arabia and India). I really do enjoy this, as it makes up for the regular deluge of death and rape threats I get from the peace-loving Trans folks and their cis allies. One of the most popular topics of these valued messages is how awful it is be a Lesbian trying to get a date in this Post Modern world.

Endangered Species: Actual Lesbians

Here is the audio of the interview I granted to Milly Shaw of Lesbilicious. Instead of writing an objective article that fairly presented both sides, Ms. Shaw decided to write anti-lesbian propaganda.

So, here’s the audio. You can listen for yourself. Please also enjoy the view of my chair. I will wait for the anti-lesbian trolls to talk about how annoying my voice is. You will also hear my dogs.

Here is the screenshot of the email from a woman who was at the bar that night and saw what actually happened.

Lesbians, you are becoming an endangered species. Hope you wake up before it’s too late.

Links referenced in the interview: UN Letter, Dyke March video, CounterPunch article, Bar Wotever video, and the Cotton Ceiling.

Bring On The Dykeless Dyke Marches!

HAI! WE ARE STRAIGHT PEOPLE! WE HAVE CO-OPTED YOUR MARCH, YOU SILLY DYKES.

DYKELESS DYKE MARCHES!

HAI! I AM NOT A DYKE!

Emelia Foldaway, London Dykeless March Organizer

TRIGGER WARNING: Emelia Foldaway BDSM Photos after the cut.

Who Can Be A Lesbian?

UNLESS YOU ARE A MAN.

Patriarchy’s Tools

Trans women and their allies will jump over a thousand lesbians’ dead bodies in a rush to deny the entitled, male privileged attitudes that current prominent trans women in the activist community inevitably come with.  Yes, it’s so very very important that these very special trans women are still allowed to make misogynistic, bigoted assessments about lesbians’ sexuality, AS ALL MALES DO, that it does not matter that lesbians’ sexuality is trampled over or invisibilized or that lesbians’ voices are SHOUTED OVER and IGNORED in the process.

Dan Savage is DTF the Trans Men!

See http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/06/29/are-you-a-queer-women-who-dates-women-and-trans-men

Dear Julie Bindel

Hope you are well. I am Cathy Brennan, and I am the public face of Pretendbians, a group blog that arose as a direct result of and in response to the Cotton Ceiling debacle. If you don’t know about the Cotton Ceiling, see this link and this link.

I am the public face of Pretendbians because the issue of gender identity in the GLBT Community is a sensitive one, one that Lesbians are afraid to discuss publicly for fear of being threatened or harassed. You may recall that in August 2011, I was one of the women who wrote a respectful letter asking that the definition of gender identity pushed by transgender groups in the United States be revised so as not to incorporate stereotypes about women into law. You may also recall that for that respectful letter, I was threatened with all sorts of violence. You may recall these things because I sent you messages on Facebook about it, but as you never replied, perhaps you didn’t receive them.

I am the public face of Pretendbians because we need to have a public discussion about the issue of gender identity and how it impacts – negatively – Lesbians and Lesbian Community. I am willing to be this public face because I am able to do so, and I could not live with myself if I didn’t try to impact this conversation in a manner that allowed the Lesbian perspective to be heard.

I understand that you receive threats around this issue – so do I. Male violence is a real and significant reality. Male violence fuels much of how this discussion takes place. Male violence demands capitulation.

I don’t want to capitulate. I also don’t want a sister in struggle to decide how Lesbians should discuss the negative impact of gender identity. Tough times demand tough measures. Being nice about it didn’t work. Being nice – standing alone – never works. You need all tactics to move a conversation.

I am grateful, though, that you have noticed this “war” that’s been raging. Help us end it. The concerns about gender identity raised by Lesbians are real and valid and deserve a wider audience.

Thank you, and be well,

Cathy Brennan

P.S. I am only responsible for Pretendbians. I am not responsible for any other blog you mentioned in your interview. 

What Triggers Rose Verbena?

What triggers Rose Verbena? Glad you asked:

1) Males demanding (under threat of violence) that I call them “she”, “her”, “woman” or “female”;

2) Enablers of males who demand (under threat of violence) that I refer to males as “she”, “her”, “woman” or “female”;

Same sex, different day

Same sex, different day

I think it’s ironic that so many “radscum” started out being very sympathetic to “trans women” — oftentimes for decades — before “trans women” themselves so viciously transgressed our boundaries, so abusively dismissed our concerns as women, that we were forced to see them for what they (as a group) actually are: entrenched male haters of women.

As a person who was best friends with a couple of gay transvestites down the hall in college, as a person who TOOK A BEATING and ended up in the ER when doing her best to stop a gay-bashing in progress against a small, delicate gay man, as a person who firmly believes that people should be able to be themselves regardless of cultural norms — as long as they’re not actually hurting others — it took a lot of abuse to open my eyes to the abject hatred some (most?) “trans women” have for natal women.

Now I recognize “trans feminism” for what it is: one more way for men to appropriate, re-direct and abuse women’s energy and power — towards their own ends, of course.

How Trans Women Can Be Good Allies to Females

Anonymous asked: Hi. Can you tell me what the perfect trans ally for feminism would look like? Or is there one. If we said “Yes, we are male sexed” but also women, would we be accepted as sisters? Can you describe your vision of an alliance between transgender persons and feminism? If we said “Yes. There are differences between us and cis women” would that be enough?

I can tell you how my trans friends who are allies help females.

“Actively Stalk and Harass”

Today I received the following text message from 1-717-574-8727.  It says: “How can you say you’re a feminist when you actively stalk and harass other women? What do you possibly gain from making yet another woman feel unsafe for  simply existing?”

The Myth of Trans-Exterminationism

Trans activists – specifically, trans women – have appealed to liberal females’ willingness to accommodate them and be nice by saying this like “females who oppose gender identity are trans-exterminationists.”

The Labrys

“The site in question’s “symbol” is a two-sided black ax, which is dangerously, but appropriately, reminiscent of fascism.” – some fool on the Internet.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO “PLAY LESBIAN,” DO TRY TO LEARN ABOUT THINGS LESBIANS KNOW.