Dear Trans Women: We Do Not Exist For You

A message to the Bugbrennans and Gaynotqueers of the world:

You will never win. You can spout filth all you want, erasing trans identities by saying “Well, really you’re a _____.”


The Trans* community is a small community, only a couple percent of the population, but we outnumber you. Our voices our louder. Our struggles are greater. (NOT THEY ARE NOT)

It’s funny. I’m a rape survivor. I turned a man down for sex in a bar, and got roofied for my trouble. Until I discovered Tumblr, and learned how terrible, hateful, and transmisoginistic parts of the feminist community could be, I even called myself a feminist. I will still fight for women’s rights, as I always have, but I refuse to associate myself with blind ignorance and hate.

I’m one of the lucky trans women. I rarely get clocked on the street, and it greatly increases my chance of survival. I understand that I’m privileged, and seen a different way because I’m white, read as the correct gender, and even considered pretty. I have no disabilities, or mental disorders aside from mild depression, and I’m reasonably healthy. Despite all of those things, I still face hatred and bigotry from people like the two of you, and many more. (IT IS NOT HATEFUL TO NOT PRIORITIZE YOUR ISSUES)

I wish what some of what you said was true. I wish that this WAS all some elaborate plan to sneak into women’s only spaces. It’s not. I wish it was because I wish I wasn’t trans sometimes. I miss how easy it was to get a job as a male. I miss how easy it was to find a girl to date. I miss how easy it was to walk down the street at night. It was worth losing all of those things to be Ashley. It’s worth losing all of those things to be true to myself. Lastly, it’s worth losing all of those things to be happy.

As a final thought relating to dating, I’m polysexual. I’m attracted to a wide variety of bodies and genders, but I get discouraged when women don’t want to date me simply because I’m trans. However, I’d never get angry about it. A person’s preferences are their own. What I am for is challenging the fact that I’ve had women who fawn over me like I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread, hang on every word I speak, squeal with excitement over everything we have in common, and then get angry with me and storm away when I disclose the fact that I’m trans. Up until that point, what they saw was a beautiful, intelligent, and striking woman, but once I disclose my transness, I’m seen as an “icky man.” I believe that shouldn’t happen. They don’t know what my plans and ambitions are, I’m not in a bar or a club for a random hookup, I’m there to meet someone special. (I know that bars are a terrible place to find relationships) And even if I was in the bar looking to hookup, they have no idea how I have sex, or what I enjoy doing. I’m all for erasing the stereotype that just because you have a penis, all you care about is penetration. I could spend hours in the bedroom with my pants on pleasing someone else, and it would give me more satisfaction than a thousand orgasms, but few women are willing to learn that. That being said, as a rape survivor myself, I would never force or coerce someone into sex, but I see no problem with enlightening someone to challenge their own misconceptions about trans* sex. (THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING PARAGRAPH I HAVE READ IN AGES)

In closing, you will never silence women like me. We will always stand up for ourselves in the face of your oppression and hate. We will keep fighting until finally your voices grow even quieter, and are left behind in the march of progress that is coming with this new generation of LGBT individuals. (YES, YOUR GOAL IS TO ERASE FEMALES AND LESBIANS. WE CAN SEE YOU)

We will not be silenced.

I truly feel sorry for people like you, who take some twisted pride or pleasure from insulting people concerning their identities. Hopefully one day, you’ll reflect on the things you’ve done in your life and own up to your mistakes. (IT WAS A MISTAKE FOR GAYS AND LESBIANS TO ALLY THEMSELVES WITH GAY-ERASING BIGOTS)




2 responses to “Dear Trans Women: We Do Not Exist For You

  1. ethicalequinox

    Oh good lord…why are you under the delusion that we even want your support, trans people? I don’t care if you *think* you are a woman or a man. Think whatever the hell you want to think. But don’t ever think that we NEED your support, and don’t think that threatening us will change that.

    What, do you think that by showing us that you have the morality of a mob boss* is going to make us glorify you in all your righteousness one day?

    *”Oh look we’re bigger and stronger and outnumber you and you won’t win and I feel validated through sex and controlling other people’s behavior and I suffer so much when you disagree with me that I have to threaten you into submission in order to dominate the entire fucking universe….”

  2. i am a gay male, and i terribly hate how T is lumped in with LGB. Transsexuals are delusional. They think its transphobic if you don’t date them. Dear transsexuals, if a person doesn’t want to date you, deal with it! If i’m to date, i’m gonna date A REAL MAN, and before you appear out of nowhere to rant about how real you are, FYI i know my definition of real. It sucks to be a transsexual, deal with it. Just dont force yourself on people that dont want you!!! I hope i’ll never hit upon that terrible misfortune where you date a transsexual thinking they’re cisgender. All those transsexuals that have been killed for not telling their partners, should serve as a lesson to all the others who do the same.